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On the surface, this was a morning similar to any other morning, but so hauntingly strange for me. It was the same scarlet sun behind the drowsy veneer of mist peering through the green creepers on my window. Everything was same but for the hope. The hope that used to stand by me, guarding my card-house of dreams against the invasion of dreadful swarm of unfair accusations levelled by the world; wasn’t there with me. My saviour had abandoned me.
“Oh my hope! Where have you gone?” implored my heart.
“How shall I survive without your embalming grace?” and I cried.
Choked with despair, I was speechless. My thoughts were shattered, my limbs paralysed, my eyes lightless, my heart seething with the pain.
And then my legs started carrying me upon the path without any destiny, my eyes leaving a salty, watery trail along the way.
I cried again…I cried aloud, “Oh my hope! Why have you abandoned me? Where are you? Where are you?”
“I am here!” said a sweet singsong voice.
I turned to the voice. It was a beautiful little girl playing hide & seek with her father. I saw her climbing into his arms and I saw her basking in that cradle of compassion. My heart heaved a sigh of relief after witnessing the sonata of trust and innocence.
I enquired,
“Oh my child! Have you seen my lost hope?”
She said nothing, giggled and for a moment my pains subsided.
But despair clawed back into my mind. And I cried again…
“Oh my hope. Please show yourself to me. My heart aches without having you in my sight.”
And right then a bolt of golden warm light struck my iris and made me close my eyelids.
“What is that?” thought I.
It was an array of golden sunrays, scattering after kissing the shy shimmer of an innocent dewdrop, resting in the lap of a lonely tulip petal. Spellbound by the beauty, I asked-
“Oh beautiful light! You travel round the world on the mane of these golden horses. You know about everything present in this universe. Have you seen my lost hope?”
She too smiled back with a tinge of pink in her gait. The warmth of the beauty soothed the ache, but only for a while.
I thought of my lost hope again and mourned in my heart,
“Oh my hope! How agonizing is it that you are not here to bless me with your magical touch, which used to make my heart blossom with joy.”
Then a rush of cool winter air, fragrant with the aroma of wild hilly flowers encircled my senses. I felt elevated with the magical touch.
Enchanted, I asked him -
“Oh divine wanderer! You pass through every hill, every trench, every ground and every little chasm of the mother earth. You touch everything living and beyond. Have you seen my lost hope?”
That wind gave back a smile as well, spoke nothing and swiveled around to gently lift up dry Chinar leaves, still alive and red in hue. All those leaves embraced him with utmost joy and they became a congregation of dancing souls. The dance kept me occupied out of desolation.
Again the tiding waves of memory thundered and unable to bear its ferocity, I fell on my knees. Prostrate, I let out a cry of excruciating agony.
“Oh my Creator! Where art Thou? Where is my hope? My soul is crippled, unable to bear its absence. Answer my maker! Answer to me…”
Right then the gathering of black clouds departed and searing through it appeared a smiling shine of thousands of suns, making every single corner of my being glitter with a warm glow. There was a voice which was echoing in my existence.
“My dear son! Why can’t you see your hope? I haven’t deprived you of it. I just held it tonight but for a moment in my very hands and spread it out all over the world. Yesterday you used to hold it within your heart but now...now it shall hold you and your heart in it.
When you shall seek, you will witness it in every iota of my creations. When you shall start seeing it in my creations, which is when you will start to see me. When you shall witness it, you will witness me. When you shall devote yourself in its quest, then you will find me. It is only then, that you will be mine and I shall be yours.
Oh my beloved son! Look around yourself and you shall find your hope right here, embracing you, caressing you and loving you, as much as you love it.”
I opened my eyes then to find my hope smiling at me from every corner of the universe. It was shining there in the flow of white river like a bed of diamonds. It was rustling through green leaves of high poplar trees, making them reverberate with the joy of an immaculate heart. It was filling my ears with the giggle of a child.
I closed my eyes to hold the trance, I curved my senses into all I could feel. My hope was embracing my existence.
Pic credits: Hope : Oil on Canvas by George Frederick Watts
[ Stories of a Seeker are a series of posts by an author who wants to be known as "Seeker". From what we know, Seeker is a genuine and strong individual, who seeks answers to the conundrum of ethics and existence and prefers anonymity and unhindered solitude. Also read : Stories of a Seeker : The Hare and the Tortoise ]
Isn't it funny?? When you are engulfed in clouds of confuson, you get answers from most random of places..
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